Optimisim on Bus #145

The man sitting across from me was carrying seven shopping bags. He talked (not sure if it was to me, but I was definitely the only one listening) about how he bought everything with his Official NBA Credit Card. He spent the first 9 minutes of the ride boasting the benefits of the card (personalized team logo! unlimited merchandise! points with each purchase!) and then fell silent for a few minutes.

He looked at me and said, "If all else fails, we can pull this thing over and have a cup of hot chocolate."

I found myself agreeing with him. It made total sense at the time.

Music

Tony (uncle/Godfather) mailed me a CD containing the tunes he is currently listening to (how awesome is that? I love giving/receiving new music.)

The first song is "Homeless" by Guy Clark.

Does he know how much I think about homeless people?! (My journalism professors hate interrobangs. I love them!?!?)

This could only mean:

1. Tony still reads my blog, and noticed the mention of homeless people reminding me of my dad; or

2. Homeless people remind Tony of my dad; or

3. He just likes the song.

Tony: If you are reading this, THANK YOU! I love the CD.

Kelly (cousin) also recently gave me an excellent CD. However, it came with a cautionary note to "take with beer." I did just that.

Shannon (aunt) gave me two couch pillows she made with material she bought while drunk. She thought it would make a great shirt, but in fact, really only makes good pillows.

What a lovely family.

On another note, I have given up "sweets" until Thanksgiving (if you don't think this is a lofty goal, then you don't know me). Does Bailey's Irish Cream count as a "sweet"? It was on sale yesterday, and I couldn't resist. If it does, then I've failed on day one.

I'm Talkin' 'Bout Chi-Town

I've learned a lot about the city in the past two months. Mostly, I like it. A few observations:

1. Umbrellas

They add a ridiculous element to walking, which is already ridiculous. Everyone moves so fast. If someone doesn't move fast enough, you have to pass him with an umbrella. You have to extend your arm and lift the umbrella well over your head so you don't smack anyone in the head as you pass. If the passee also has an umbrella (as they usually do) then you both have your arms extended and must umbrella battle.

Umbrellas are also ridiculous because the wind blows them inside-out like George Banks in Mary Poppins. Luckily, I have a Windbrella. So this doesn't happen to me anymore.

2. Homeless people

I have a lot of homeless people observations. But, most people would probably find it strange that some homeless people remind me of my dad and I budget $5 per week plus granola bars for random peddlers. So I'll skip that part.

Occasionally, a homeless person will make my day more interesting and I am thankful for that. Last week I waited at an ATM, and a haggard-looking man got inches from my face, stuck out his tongue, yelled and shook his head like Animal.

It's hard to say why I enjoyed this, really.

3. Labels

People here are crazy about labelling other people. Generally, I'm not down with labelling an entire group of people. I might label an individual, but only after I know them well enough to label them accurately and descriptively. (e.g. a-hole, baller, Billy Badass etc.)

I am now learning new labels and the neighborhoods they accompany. (e.g. "Wicker Park is where the hipsters hang." Hipster: someone who spends a lot of money to look hip and poor. Yes, I had to have someone define this for me because I heard it so much.)

Like I said, I try to ignore this. Really, how could an ENTIRE neighborhood be dressed hip/poor/rich? However, sometimes I can see how these stereotypes are born. Like when I am leaving a bar in Wrigleyville at 3am and come across six Ed Hardy shirts fighting in the street. (e.g. "Wrigleyville is where the douche-bags hang.")

4. Smells

Occasionally I come across awful smells in the street that don't seem to have a source.

Conversely, sometimes I will come across an equally delicious smell that doesn't seem to have a source.

The latter is almost more disturbing because it's much more likely that I'm enjoying the smell of an aromatic heap of garbage than of a freshly-baked chocolate cake sitting on the side of the road.

More to come, I'm sure.

LQ

PS I realize I used e.g. a lot in this post. Now that I'm rereading it looks stupid, and I'm wondering why I used them in the first place.

Things I Think of in the Shower

My apartment is very exciting. It always sounds as if someone is roaming around because of the noises from the man above (not God...literally, the man above me). This mindfuck is particularly fun when I'm in the shower, feeling vulnerable and unprepared for a fight because I'm naked. I have never spoken with/met/seen the man above, and in fact, he might not be a man. Regardless, I think I know him quite well.

Name:

• Phillip, Phil

Occupation:

• "Business"

Relationship Status:

• Single

Sexual Orientation:

• Straight (He considered himself "bi-curious" for a few years in college)

Interests:

• Dead-lifting at 4 a.m.
• Occasionally attempting Jason Mraz song on guitar
• Compulsively cleaning apartment
• Shot-put collector (This collection is a nuisance because the shot-puts are always falling from their display and rolling around wildly.)
• Pacing apartment for 30 minutes prior to bedtime
• Tricking his neighbors (me) into thinking he is in their (my) living room

I imagine when I run into Phil in the hallway, I will recognize him instantly and say, "Heeey Philly!" He might inform me his name isn't Phil and, actually, he's not a man, but a woman (Phyllis?) with very heavy footsteps and a deep voice.

Logical Love

I've never been accused of being overemotional or irrational, and I generally consider myself level-headed. As a teenager, I wasn't angsty, though I managed to have a breakdown or two. (E.g. Collapsing into tears when my parents discovered me 15 and drunk, choking-out my first boyfriend because....well, who knows why, etc.) But as I get older, and life gets more complicated, the hormonal and anxious teen my parents rarely saw has emerged.

Video chat with my man:

"I have less vacation days than I thought. This messes up my entire year," says I.
"Well, that's what happens when you have a real job. It won't mess up your year," says he.

Yeah. No shit. But, that doesn't make me feel any different.

"I am worried if I live too far from home for too long, all my family will die by the time I go back," says I.
"Well, unfortunately that's part of life. That's what sucks about getting older," says he.

Again, I know. But, seriously. What if they're all dead right now.

I cry and accuse him of being (gasp!) logical and easy-going. He agrees and yet can't fathom why this is a bad thing. (Ok...it's not a bad thing unless I'm acting illogical and neurotic.)

I explain that sometimes I just need to FEEL. Sometimes I get really pissed a TV commercials. Sometimes I need to listen to sad music to intentionally feel terrible. Sometimes I need to prepare myself for everyone I love to die, even if it won't happen anytime soon. I know it doesn't make sense.

He, being the superb person that he is, understands and let's me win this non-battle.

We admittedly think very different. But, at least when I tell him to stop making so much sense, he tries his hardest.

Thanks, Kook!

Apparently, my dedication to being a crap blogger has paid off; Kelly Q supplied me with an entire book of blog ideas, so my excuses for sucking are now limited to lack of skill and enthusiasm.

I'm starting small with a quickie: Count Your Blessings.

Lately, my cynical side has been more dominant than I'd like. So, here's a list of things that went right for me today.

1. My skin looked clearer today than it has in weeks.

2. I had just enough milk to top off my Frosted Mini Wheats (However, that might make a bad morning tomorrow.)

3. Left the house 10 minutes early, and my bus arrived moments later

4. Candy corn in the office kitchen

5. Picture message of my baby cousin from my aunt

6. Monday evening yoga

7. My weekend leftovers created an excellent salad for dinner

8. Watched a new episode of Intervention

9. I'm not addicted to heroin

I'm sure many more things went right. I mean, I didn't die, break any bones and my bus didn't crash, and that always makes for an at least decent day.