I'm Talkin' 'Bout Chi-Town

I've learned a lot about the city in the past two months. Mostly, I like it. A few observations:

1. Umbrellas

They add a ridiculous element to walking, which is already ridiculous. Everyone moves so fast. If someone doesn't move fast enough, you have to pass him with an umbrella. You have to extend your arm and lift the umbrella well over your head so you don't smack anyone in the head as you pass. If the passee also has an umbrella (as they usually do) then you both have your arms extended and must umbrella battle.

Umbrellas are also ridiculous because the wind blows them inside-out like George Banks in Mary Poppins. Luckily, I have a Windbrella. So this doesn't happen to me anymore.

2. Homeless people

I have a lot of homeless people observations. But, most people would probably find it strange that some homeless people remind me of my dad and I budget $5 per week plus granola bars for random peddlers. So I'll skip that part.

Occasionally, a homeless person will make my day more interesting and I am thankful for that. Last week I waited at an ATM, and a haggard-looking man got inches from my face, stuck out his tongue, yelled and shook his head like Animal.

It's hard to say why I enjoyed this, really.

3. Labels

People here are crazy about labelling other people. Generally, I'm not down with labelling an entire group of people. I might label an individual, but only after I know them well enough to label them accurately and descriptively. (e.g. a-hole, baller, Billy Badass etc.)

I am now learning new labels and the neighborhoods they accompany. (e.g. "Wicker Park is where the hipsters hang." Hipster: someone who spends a lot of money to look hip and poor. Yes, I had to have someone define this for me because I heard it so much.)

Like I said, I try to ignore this. Really, how could an ENTIRE neighborhood be dressed hip/poor/rich? However, sometimes I can see how these stereotypes are born. Like when I am leaving a bar in Wrigleyville at 3am and come across six Ed Hardy shirts fighting in the street. (e.g. "Wrigleyville is where the douche-bags hang.")

4. Smells

Occasionally I come across awful smells in the street that don't seem to have a source.

Conversely, sometimes I will come across an equally delicious smell that doesn't seem to have a source.

The latter is almost more disturbing because it's much more likely that I'm enjoying the smell of an aromatic heap of garbage than of a freshly-baked chocolate cake sitting on the side of the road.

More to come, I'm sure.

LQ

PS I realize I used e.g. a lot in this post. Now that I'm rereading it looks stupid, and I'm wondering why I used them in the first place.