Boxed In

Despite efforts, my cubicle is really a terrible place. Not surprisingly; it's a cubicle. The walls are made of carpet and tacks. I have no foot rest.

Cubicle items that should make me laugh:

Calendar filled w/ pictures of my high school friends
This seems jolly enough. But, I have to cover most of the pictures with sticky notes. I couldn't even use the entire month of July (true to life, July is a particularly garish month). My cubicle censors me.

Plastic glow-in-the-dark fairies
These are quite lovely, but I never see them glow because I live in fluorescent lighting. My cubicle blinds me.

A tiny rubber chicken
No complaints. This is pretty awesome.

Vintage-esque coaster
I can't put beer on it. My cubicle sobers me.

Pictures of friends and family
...whom I never see. My cubicle alienates me.

Sticky notes decorated with hula girls
I would enjoy using these to write passive aggressive notes or wearing them as nipple pasties, but they are instead covered with (mostly) work-related scrawls that need deciphering. The note in front of me says Feltes, 8/5-8/6, Gov, Xerox, Ags and a picture of a flower. My cubicle is in code. And prudish.

Dream Dad

Casey and Connor were climbing a giant totem pole that came crashing down on top of Casey. He broke his back and was hobbling around (Dream Interpretation: Casey smashed his foot and is hobbling around).

Dad showed up wearing a tropical shirt after being in Florida for a hella long time (Dream Interpretation: He's dead and has been for awhile). He brought us chocolate covered pretzels as a souvenir (Dream Interpretation: I love chocolate covered pretzels).

I hugged him for the rest of the dream while Casey hobbled around in the background (Dream Interpretation: I want to hug my dad and Casey is still hobbling around).

It was actually a great dream because I could feel the hug. I feel a little bad for Dream Casey, but he refused treatment.

Lessons from Kurt

I've been trying to take a little advice from Kurt Vonnegut. He suggests when we feel happy, we should exclaim, murmur or think, "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is."

Dead Parent Society meetings, Cub's games and an almost biweekly kiss from my boyfriend. Things could always be much better. Still, things are quite nice.

Ting-a-ling, you son of a bitch!

Initiation

Last weekend we initiated three new members into the Dead Parent Club. This club sucks. I can't put it on my resume, and we don't have a clubhouse. At least the meetings usually consist of beer, laughter, family and tears - crucial components of healing. Unfortunately, members never heal completely; they just learn to live with the wounds.

So it goes...

"There's no normal life, Wyatt. There's just life. Now get on with it," said Doc Holiday.

"But he didn't mention how much my heart would ache," said D.

I loved this poem in middle school. Still do.

Nature's first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower, but only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief, so dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.

LQ

I Don't Make New Year's Resolutions, But...

I am trying a few things to improve myself.

1. I brought a brush, a lint roller and an extra toothbrush with toothpaste to work. I am trying to brush my teeth during the day, especially after I drink tea. I am sure I look really put-together today. I've brushed my hair and teeth, and rolled my lint.

2. My office kitchen has a constant supply of cookies/candy/giant caramel apples. Most days, I can't say no. So, I've started flicking off and quietly cursing the dessert tray when I walk into the kitchen. Seriously. I think it's working. I just hope no one catches me. People here already think I'm weird.

3. I am going to buy new clothes. I say this about 3 times a month, but I am dedicated now. I need to stop cycling through the same outfits every week. People are starting to notice.

4. I need to go to more concerts. I've been in Chicago for 4 months, and I've only been to one show! Unacceptable. I just bought tickets to Tegan & Sara in March to get me started.

LQ

Optimisim on Bus #145

The man sitting across from me was carrying seven shopping bags. He talked (not sure if it was to me, but I was definitely the only one listening) about how he bought everything with his Official NBA Credit Card. He spent the first 9 minutes of the ride boasting the benefits of the card (personalized team logo! unlimited merchandise! points with each purchase!) and then fell silent for a few minutes.

He looked at me and said, "If all else fails, we can pull this thing over and have a cup of hot chocolate."

I found myself agreeing with him. It made total sense at the time.