Things I Think of in the Shower

My apartment is very exciting. It always sounds as if someone is roaming around because of the noises from the man above (not God...literally, the man above me). This mindfuck is particularly fun when I'm in the shower, feeling vulnerable and unprepared for a fight because I'm naked. I have never spoken with/met/seen the man above, and in fact, he might not be a man. Regardless, I think I know him quite well.

Name:

• Phillip, Phil

Occupation:

• "Business"

Relationship Status:

• Single

Sexual Orientation:

• Straight (He considered himself "bi-curious" for a few years in college)

Interests:

• Dead-lifting at 4 a.m.
• Occasionally attempting Jason Mraz song on guitar
• Compulsively cleaning apartment
• Shot-put collector (This collection is a nuisance because the shot-puts are always falling from their display and rolling around wildly.)
• Pacing apartment for 30 minutes prior to bedtime
• Tricking his neighbors (me) into thinking he is in their (my) living room

I imagine when I run into Phil in the hallway, I will recognize him instantly and say, "Heeey Philly!" He might inform me his name isn't Phil and, actually, he's not a man, but a woman (Phyllis?) with very heavy footsteps and a deep voice.

Logical Love

I've never been accused of being overemotional or irrational, and I generally consider myself level-headed. As a teenager, I wasn't angsty, though I managed to have a breakdown or two. (E.g. Collapsing into tears when my parents discovered me 15 and drunk, choking-out my first boyfriend because....well, who knows why, etc.) But as I get older, and life gets more complicated, the hormonal and anxious teen my parents rarely saw has emerged.

Video chat with my man:

"I have less vacation days than I thought. This messes up my entire year," says I.
"Well, that's what happens when you have a real job. It won't mess up your year," says he.

Yeah. No shit. But, that doesn't make me feel any different.

"I am worried if I live too far from home for too long, all my family will die by the time I go back," says I.
"Well, unfortunately that's part of life. That's what sucks about getting older," says he.

Again, I know. But, seriously. What if they're all dead right now.

I cry and accuse him of being (gasp!) logical and easy-going. He agrees and yet can't fathom why this is a bad thing. (Ok...it's not a bad thing unless I'm acting illogical and neurotic.)

I explain that sometimes I just need to FEEL. Sometimes I get really pissed a TV commercials. Sometimes I need to listen to sad music to intentionally feel terrible. Sometimes I need to prepare myself for everyone I love to die, even if it won't happen anytime soon. I know it doesn't make sense.

He, being the superb person that he is, understands and let's me win this non-battle.

We admittedly think very different. But, at least when I tell him to stop making so much sense, he tries his hardest.

Thanks, Kook!

Apparently, my dedication to being a crap blogger has paid off; Kelly Q supplied me with an entire book of blog ideas, so my excuses for sucking are now limited to lack of skill and enthusiasm.

I'm starting small with a quickie: Count Your Blessings.

Lately, my cynical side has been more dominant than I'd like. So, here's a list of things that went right for me today.

1. My skin looked clearer today than it has in weeks.

2. I had just enough milk to top off my Frosted Mini Wheats (However, that might make a bad morning tomorrow.)

3. Left the house 10 minutes early, and my bus arrived moments later

4. Candy corn in the office kitchen

5. Picture message of my baby cousin from my aunt

6. Monday evening yoga

7. My weekend leftovers created an excellent salad for dinner

8. Watched a new episode of Intervention

9. I'm not addicted to heroin

I'm sure many more things went right. I mean, I didn't die, break any bones and my bus didn't crash, and that always makes for an at least decent day.

Lazy

I never claimed my blog would be consistent, timely or well-written. In fact, based on my lack of posts and readers, I think my blog sucks. But lately, I've felt uninspired. Or lazy. There is a fine line. So, I thought I'd write.

A year after my dad died, I see my family dealing with new heartaches. There never seems to be a shortage of sadness. Or, in my family, laughter.

Hmmm ending this post abruptly because I no longer feel like writing (Uninspired or lazy? You decided).

dickipedia

I've had dickipedia.org as a bookmark on my browser since spring break, thanks to dear cousin Danny.  It is kind of an unnecessary bookmark, since I don't visit it regularly.  But, I still recommend it to anyone and everyone.  It is a comprehensive list of well-known dicks (a-holes).  Entries include "Dick Cheney," "Kanye West," "Ann Coulter" and "your mom."  It's good stuff.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

St. Patty's day was always a big deal at my house.  Each year, Casey and I spent days carefully constructing tiny "hotels" for the leprechauns to kick back and relax in.  We would also leave snacks and cookies for King Brian (I'm sure he would have preferred whiskey...). 

On the big day, we'd always awaken to a surprise.  Sometimes it would be little, green leprechaun footprints sprinkled on our arms and faces, and other times it would be piles of "gold" (gold painted nickels) left in the hotel.  Our breakfast would consist of green milk, green pancakes and anything else that can be dyed with food coloring.  The day would end with a family showing of Darby O'Gill.

I still love St. Patty's.  But now I just drink beer.  And watch Darby O'Gill.

Spring Break

Wooooweeeee...I am tired.  I am ready to graduate.  I may have just failed a BCA midterm.  If I can't graduate because of one class, I might lose my mind.

Next week is my last spring break ever.  Granted, in the future my vacations will (hopefully) be paid and will (hopefully) take place in warm, exotic locations.  Regardless, it feels weird that I will no longer be a student, and I will have to be a "real" adult.  I don't know if I feel like it...

Ahh I am sick of work/school/everythingido.  I need spring break so bad, even though I have no real plans.  A little family time.  An evening planned where I accompany my cousin into her new, drunk 21-year-old life.  Should be good.

LQ